Night of Champions Coverage By N£O

Well the event opens with some impressive Pyro and 13,000 very lucky Americans are absolutely wild this nicely made set is cool with all the championship belt banners hanging down in front of the entrance.

We are then treated......sorry tortured by Vickie Guerrero coming out in support of Mr Ziggles / Mr Perfect mark 2 / Dolph Ziggler, the match with Kofi Kingston starts off pretty much the same as all the other matches.....high-powered fast and enjoyable but do we really care about the result? We will have to wait and see because I don't think that Kofi is going anywhere with this if he wins and it won't make sense if Zigger loses but I write this as it happens so if he does then I'll have to come back to this document and correct it to protect my non existent reputation, so it makes it look like I know what I'm on about.

I'm quite looking forward to the rest of the night though because Cole is already made a reference to Jerry the King Lawler liking young women at the age of 50 and him and Striker have already interrupted each other at least three or four times 10 minutes in and that bodes well for the rest of the night because as they get more excited the entertainment of two men who clearly don't like each other will continue......

According to SKY HD TV, we are 22 min into the event so that is not a bad amount of time to give to Kofi and Dolph, and I have to say it wasn't a bad showing pretty obvious ending that Dolph was going to retain. The only gripe I have with Dolph sleeper hold is that as a fan of ultimate fighting, the sleeper hold which really is a version of the real-life rear naked choke hold, it annoys me after seeing many men who are absolutely harder than any man in the WWE tap out after just five or six seconds that people like Kofi can power out of it and then put one on to Dolph who will then power out as well. I guess I have to remember that this is a cartoon fighting and not real men kicking the living shit out of each other...... On to the next match and Vicky please GO AWAY, you've got your Guerrero inheritance go spend it it instead of spending our fun time in our imaginary world please. Seriously Vickie, the only reason you are still here is 1. BECAUSE YOU WERE MARRIED TO A DEAD LEGEND --------- 2. BECAUSE YOU GET GENUINE HEAT

....deep breaths......1....2.....3.....4

Suddenly all our musings about why Big show and CM punk are having a match when there is not a title on the line has become clear, Tony Chimel makes a big thing about announcing him and there we go...... We'd all forgotten that CM punk is from Chicago and this is his homecoming match and either Big Show wins or CM punk ready for his Babyface turn now SES has gonen, We all forgotten hadn't we but I'm not going to talk about this match because it will be shit.....unless Ultimate Warrior does a run in to his music.

Slightly entertaining spot......Show chest slaps Punk so hard he rolls out the ring..... then swantons Show from inside to outside.

See told ya, he tried to make himself heel for the match by insulting the Chicago peeps but they are still chanting for him.

Remember this is AS IT HAPPENS and I said it was going to be crap but the spots and stunts were not too bad, but completely irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.

Very confident promo by Y2J...........I have to admit, I haven't got a clue who will win the 6 pack but I still think Sheamus to retain.....

Quick patriot spot with the token soldiers at ringside...

I love the Miz but Bryan, please break something of his body.....now if this is a quick match it will give us a hint on whether or not Miz will cash tonight, he will need his energy to screw someone.

Promo for Miz and Bryan............bring it.

Time for a Frosty Jacks with ice before this I think, thank god my Mum's Sunday lunch knocked me out for four hours else I would have watch Liverpool vs Man U and been missing this fast asleep....!

BIG BIG POP

(....and wait your turn Riley.......)

Bryan is smiling from ear to ear as this happens, but how will they do it without affecting Mizano's image, or is it bullet proof....we shall see.

Good match so far, innovative arm lock up which kinda looked like Strictly Come Dancing but not seen that before so that's cool, and I think these two match up quite well, quite a slow pace though as I predicted.

Great showing by these guys...........not pulling any punches.

WHAT A MATCH!!!! SORRY CANNOT TYPE ENJOYING TOO MUCH

Later Alex bye bye.....got to give it to Miz for holding his own with Bryan who is excellent...now the crowd are chanting this is awesome........and he taps....TOLD YA TOLD YA TOLD YA!!!!...........

for Bryan.....good for you son.

Clever promo by Cena and now Chicago is bubbling, makes for better matches too...................

Lumber Jill match, going for a piss......hehehehe....I'll have a quick look @ the divas cuz even if your homosexual you have to appreciate the class compared to the scutters from TNA who I don't mind either, it is a dirty job but somebodies got to do it. Melina entrance will probably be the highlight, my girlfriend can nearly stretch that far with help from me....oh no!!! no flexability as King would say? BOOOOOOO right pizza and drinks while they waste 10 minutes of their and our lives.

Well, well, well.....UNIFIED DIVAS CHAMP.......nothing to do with her relationship with Taker.....done on her own merit....well done McCool, like HHH you slept herself to the top!

Here we go....TAKER VS KANE......love it or hate it, none of you are going to change channels are you? Taker comes out first, indication of things to come or just champ has to come out last? Anticipation isn't the word....Undertaker (Mark Calloway) was the reason I got into wrestling not Hogan, twenty plus years ago, so this is a dream come true for me, although I hope this two event feud is the last, a swan song and they are at it straight away.

.....10 minutes in and they are really trying, Glen Jacobs is flying and Calloway is selling it briiliantly, these guys know eachother so well I wonder whether they even scripted this apart from the ending?

Had to pause it to write this because if you are enjoying this then you are a genuine old skool wrestling fan, they have given a good showing, thank you future Hall of Famers.

WOW WOW What a match, you have to admit that was good.... Taker did the job, I just hope Glen does the job back for him at Hell In the Cell.

More More More

Tag team turmoil?? The guys from MOS were right, why was this not built up though? It looks like from the nonsense I can take from the introduction it's an elimination tag match with gauntlet rules.......please tell me why? Why not have a normal 3-way or 4-way face off? Not sure if I want to use baby wipes to clean my fingers to type about this one because I'm enjoying my spicy pepperoni thin crust too much than I probably will do this match........

Oh as I am walking downstairs I hear the Harts get eliminated so we must be looking at McIntyre and Rhodes as champs.......non?

I swear I am using my voice recog as it happens I have no idea what's going to happen

Had to sit down now and....hang on the twins are out......oh I must be right cuz Santino cannot hold a belt.

Yep, he can't, so it's Bourne to do some stunts, see N£O knows his stuff........just to prove I'm 121 minutes in and counting, and Rhodes is just rolling Bourne back into the ring.

OH OH......! PURELY SMOKE AND MIRRORS!!!!!!!!!!

McIntyre was obviously injured slightly because he hardly wrestled.

Del Rio says "mentally constipated" in the chopped promo and I choke on my pot noodle.Bombay Bad Boy, which is hot enough with out the taste coming back into my throat, especially as I added extra chilli from the fridge to it........ow....ow....ow...............OW

Here we go, six pack challenge.

PROMO,

Sheamus bigs himself up, yeah you never lose because you bum Levesque (HHH) in the gym....quite excited about this one, and here comes the champ first, TOO MANY LIES

Ooooooohhhh Cena next, usually comes out last, will King say the roof has come off the stadium????? Guess that means Orton will get the last pop.

YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME

Y2J

Barrett next or should that be Barrett NXT?? Bare Knuckle Commonwealth Champ Matt...? Really?

I HEAR VOICES IN MY HEAD

Report to you Stuart after this man- I am gonna enjoy this one. Oh and Y2J has jobbed already.Good for you Chris, giving it to the new guys......

Brilliant scripting while Cena was on the edge of the ring, the timing of the cast was perfect, the Chicago crowd are cummin in their tights

Edge is gone, nice little sequence.

.....The apex predator is in the house, if he wins I will eat my hat and shoes and jeans and my £245 Nike Jacket hehehehe........... Looks like he means business............Copeland on a mission tonight??? SPEAR SPEAR SPEARis here and Striker reminds us that he has a new DVD coming out, mmmmmmmmm so many factors........., TOO MANY LIES

but if the Hart's have been eliminated it MUST go to them two, surely not the ITALIAN-RUSSIAN connection or the Uso's / Uzo's (those guys who look the same!!!!) they are chanting.

Well everyone's music hits to big pops and suddenly the warriors are standing in the ring.
Now I heard the Jericho had a bit of an injury which now makes sense because Jericho is quickly eliminated and when he took his first few bumps, he didn't have much sell in the landings and it looks like he was favouring something possibly his back becasue he didn't take a big back bump. Quite clearly it's worked on the Jericho rumours and stories that Jericho is is leaving the WWE.
Luckily for us Ministry of Slam Radio have exclusively revealed that they are getting an interview with Y2J so hopefully we'll get some answers and find out what Chris's future plans are and what WWE's future plans are for him and also where this storyline that they've been running that Jericho is becoming even more and more frustrated with the WWE management, in his character having a go at Michael Cole at the GM laptop desk and you know some of his promos have been so anti-establishment.

And all of a sudden it was really is a five way dance, and then we have the gang up on Wade Barrett just to establish that everyone doesn't like Barrett even the two heels which I suppose makes Wade a super-heel which we knew anyway. It makes me laugh the way he was pointing to the yellow 'N' armband and saying I am the leader. How dare you fella because you're not the leaders of these four men. These four superstars are currently the four biggest draws in the WWE, excluding the big names on SMACKDOWN.

SHEAMUS - CENA - EDGE - ORTON - BARRETT left in.

As I watch the crowds are absolutely going mental.
Michael Cole has mentioned it lots more times. He needs to though, you can tell him, King and Striker are genuinely excited.
The crowd are absolutely electric and you can hear in their voices, the divisions in popularity for their favourite star.
Every single spot in this match has been choreographed and scripted almost like a Hollywood movie and is perfectly timed in every sense and there is not improvising by any of these guys and this has been cleverly worked out (EVEN CENA ISN'T VISIBLY CALLING SPOTS OUT LOUD)
It wouldn't surprise me if all five of them and (Jericho would really need to be involved, Jericho is renowned for his wrestling brain) to maybe all six of them are the referee, Stephanie, HHH, Taker and a few of the booking team of all sat around and really scripted this just like an episode of Frasier!!!
So we now left with the little face-offs, Cena does a not very good at all dropkick (!!!!) and I have to agree with King I can't remember seeing that since his debut days in those matches with Angle.
We now have the sort of Sheamus / Edge heel vs the Cena / Orton babyface kinda fell to it and it's all kicking off and it's very well done all the spots are meticulously worked out so the right people are in the ring at the right time.

The buzz gets killed as no-one really cares about Cena and Randy having a rest outside while Ginger and Blondie square off.
Don't even know where Barrett is......
Predictable set of counters and Edge does the job, we are down to four.......
Then we are reminded that we are meant to take Barrett seriously even though he was supposedly a rookied a few months ago as he goes toe to toe with the 9 time champ Cena. By the way I like Barrett, even if his finisher is shite.
Then a little bit of a shock,

Cena gets eliminated after any XT do I agree with Michael Cole is not a shock running, but the elimination of Sina from Barrett's wasteland, is quite a shock. I was expecting at least Cena to make it to the final 2 to get the big pops. So now we know that something special is going to happen. We've got Sheamus, Orton, and the leader of the Nexus left.

Suddenly, we are sold the idea that maybe Wade Barrett is going to be the next WWE champion, or at least the last one standing with Sheamus.......I think Randy has other ideas!
I'm looking forward to seeing the sequence of RKO's he's just about to hit at the fourth time of watching the last 8 minutes.
The crowd go mental and suddenly you might get the feeling that it i night b the Viper's night but remember, the human jar of mayonnaise is having a little rest down outside of camera shot. Roandy is on fire and coiling but I always worry that he will dislocate that shoulder again and there we go, Nexus and Wade are history.

Orton kicks out of the Sheamus pre-finisher kick which has won him matches over mid carders and lower tier talent, but not this man, then he goes for the Celtic Cross (wasn't that the name of Finlay's move?)

RKO after the reversal and we were all wrong....Orton is WWE Champion for the 7th time...........but we are reminded by Striker that Hell In A Cell is only two weeks away........mmmmmmmmm

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