This week’s TNA IMPACT is kicked off by the new TNA Champion Sting. Sting tells everyone that he wouldn’t be there without the fans yada yada yada, not the money and a title reign by any chance Sting? Saying that Jeff Hardy is the greatest he has ever faced, really Sting?! I liked Sting’s comment about Jeff that "He needs to sort his head out" or something to that effect. Sting is interrupted by Hogan and Bischoff, and while they make their way to the ring we are shown a video recap of last week’s IMPACT. So we get Hogan talking and then Bischoff talking, Hogan saying that he is the real Hero there and not Sting, I lost interest to be honest. Then Mr Anderson Anderson stomps to the ring, acting like a little baby going on about "me me me", wanting his title shot. I found it funny how Bischoff was hiding behind Hogan while telling Sting he would give him what for!
As Anderson whines on Hardy makes his entrance and claiming he was robbed by Sting and Anderson should get in line. This prompts RVD to come out and moan about never losing the title! Same old same old. So Hogan is apparently calling all the shots now and the Network has no say anymore, and we are given our Main Event by Eric Bischoff! It’s Mr Anderson and Jeff Hardy verses RVD and Sting.
We go backstage to a swear-fest with the Knockouts.
Next is our first match, surprisingly early! Samoa Joe vs The Pope D'angelo Dinero. Pope enters through the crowd taking out Kato from behind, Joe runs outside after him and as he gets into the ring Pope starts his offence. The match had some even offense, some back and forth, basic stuff, then Pope goes over to the corner and rips the padding off of the turn buckle, Joe gets some offence in but then ref Brian Hebner decides he is going to try and fix the padding. Joe puts Pope in the Muscle Buster, but Pope has his chain wrapped around his hands and thumps Joe, the ref misses this and Pope gets the three count.
Backstage, Bully Ray is intimidating some bloke and the camera man, cutting a vicious promo (I heard this once so I thought I would nick it!) on Tommy Dreamer, calling him out.
Our next match is the Knockouts Championship. Madison Rayne vs a returning (one shot deal) Roxxi. Before the match is an in ring promo from Madison, saying that there are no challenges, screams at the crowd, in TNA and calls out her next opponent. Now before I go on telling you about this awesome match, has Madison stolen Kip James's old Mr Ass trunks? Just have a look. So this match was over quickly, not much to say except ODB got longer and Madison finished with the spinney knee thing again. After the match is over Madison starts a beat down on Roxxi and Mickie James comes down to the rescue. Mickie punches Tara who is at ringside but as she gets in the ring Madison runs away.
Next we go backstage where Tommy Dreamer is outside calling out Bully Ray. We then cut to Ray who is looking for Tommy and then gets side swiped by Devon who starts to beat down on Ray. I think this is very unfair! Devon came out of nowhere and attacked Ray, yes attacked him from behind! As Devon, who was unprovoked, was whipping ray with a thick chain, you can see a random guy stood buy a car just watching this brutal attack! Run you fool, get help!! Idiot! Anyway Tommy Dreamer comes to Rays rescue and stops Devon from hitting him with a sledge hammer. Then we get some busy body coming over and getting in Rays face as he is trying to get his head together after the unprovoked attack from Devon. Ray retaliates to this guy who is getting in his face by knocking him to the ground, whipping him with the chain and slamming a security rail on him! Serves him right for getting in Rays face!!
Next is a six woman tag team match with the rest of the Knockouts on the roster. I really didn’t care about this match and wanted just to press fast forward! It makes me wonder though, does Earl Hebner have it written in his contract that he has to do Knock out matches and get to hold them back as often as possible?! Thank GOD (pick your own, I pick Thor!) this match is over quickly! Nothing really happened anyway.
Quickly moving on!! Backstage, Mr Anderson is in a small office type room with Jeff Hardy, Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff. Anderson and Hardy start to have words and threaten a beat down on each other, when Bischoff chips in reminding Ken that he is out numbered................. ok let’s pause there for a moment, really, press pause and look who is in this room! Eric Bischoff, one punch and he's down, Hogan won’t be able to get out of his chair so that’s two down, and Hardy is so off his head most of the time that he probably doesn’t have a clue what’s going on! Anderson leaves, we carry on.
Next we get yet another recap from last week and the week before that, and then the week before that! Seriously!! Don’t they know we wipe our memories after every IMPACT!!! We don’t want to remember!!
Our next thrilling match is a three way street fight between AJ Styles, Matt Hardy and Ric (I bet he bleeds) Flair.
It starts with Hardy and Flair in the ring, with Flair on the mic, oh joy! Flair calls out AJ saying that he didn’t get to finish what he said, which was when? So AJ appears and Flair tells him that he is in the town that Flair built. While flair is talking (and yes, I was bored) all I could hear was some girl screeching! AJ tells Flair that Flair is in the TNA house which he built to a huge crowd pop. I agree with AJ that Flair yabbers on all the time. This is where I got a txt that was way more interesting that Matt hardy talking, so I missed what he said and got reeled back in after AJ thumped him. We had some back and forth offence between them all, more of a handicap match, which you knew it was going to be, than a 3 way. Flair goes for the figure four but is blocked and AJ put Flair in it instead but is broken up by Hardy. The match goes outside and yes, you guessed it, Flair bleeds! The match continues with AJ and Hardy going at it, and when Hardy goes for a ladder the crowed gives a huge pop – although mainly for the ladder not Hardy! AJ goes for the Styles clash but is caught with a low blow from Flair, and Hardy does the Twist on Hate on AJ onto a chair. Flair pins AJ for the win.
While the cleanup crew takes on the difficult task of cleaning up Flair’s blood, we have a backstage heart to heart with Sting and RVD.
The next match is Gen Me verses Ink Inc. Now I’m going out on a limb here and predict that Ink Inc wins, as they are number one contenders for the tag titles and are in a match against Beer Money at Victory Road.
We also get Beer Money on commentary. Then match goes on but I have no interest in Ink Shmink and Jessie Neal is a waste of air time! Although he does do a nice spear in mid air! Non-the-less Ink Inc win, as I predicted and wait for it! Shannon Moore picks up the mic, I’m holding my breath with (sarcastic!!!) anticipation to hear what he has to say!! Nothing really, James Storm in his AWESOME hat stole the segment now can we please move on!!
We now are in the locker room with Jeff Hardy and Mr Anderson, having their heart to heart, and yes Ken, we know! You’re an asshole!! I brought the T-shirt!!
Backstage we have The Pope, followed by another recap of last week.
Next we see the Jarrett’s and Jeff reveals where they are going to spend their honeymoon. Where you ask with excitement???............................... ORLANDO!!!!!! Florida, not Jordan.
We now have an Ultimate X vignette, before moving on to a Sting history video.
Jeremy Borash is interviewing Sting when Mr Anderson attacks Sting and gives him a beat down!
We have another video package hyping the matches at Victory Road and people’s opinions on the return of Sting. I like the Popes: "Pope don’t care"! This section went on way, way too long and I started to lose interest.
Finally we get to the Main Event of the evening.
Mr Anderson with Jeff Hardy verses RVD and Sting, who doesn’t appear.( One thing, why is So Cal Val announcing?) The match goes ahead handicap tag team style, and RVD gets punished by Anderson who to tag out, slaps Hardy around the back of the head! Best tag I've ever seen!! As RVD gets the upper hand on Hardy, Hardy tries to tag Anderson but Anderson jumps down off the apron and RVD carries on his offence. Eventually Hardy gets a hard tag in on Anderson, but Anderson doesn’t enter the ring. but as RVD runs into him, Hardy gives the Twist of Hate to RVD. As Hardy goes for the pin Anderson pulls him off and gives him the Mic Check when the lights go out, for a while, then a puffing Sting is in the ring and beats on Anderson and giving him the Scorpion Death Drop and tells RVD to finish him off. RVD Frog Splashes Anderson and picks up the win.
Not a bad IMPACT, too much video packages as usual but more matches which is a bonus! So I give it another 3/5.
Till next week!!
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